Fear in the Time of Covid
We have two, and only two, innate fears:
Fear of loud noises
Fear of falling.
Everything else, all our other fears, have developed over time. The origins are going to be different for all of us. It could be from our family, education, some social happening. We won’t know it when it happens, and that fear may percolate for many years before making itself present and exerts its power.
I don’t know where I heard or read it, but this is one of my favorite quotes: “everything you’ve always wanted lies on the other side of fear.” (If you know whom it should be credited to, please let me know.) I would explicitly and implicitly share that with my students. I may say it directly or have it posted on one of the walls of my classroom.
Ironically, even as I write this, I feel a couple of Fears trying to exert their power. Who am I to write about fear? Welcome, Imposterism. Am I good enough to write about this topic? Will it be good enough to send out? Welcome, Perfectionism. What am I trying to say? Welcome, Insecurity. What if … what if… ? ...and so on.
It’s especially prevalent now. We’re all facing some large fears, whether we want to admit it or not. For me, I’m very concerned about my career. I started my own business in September and was about to close on my first significant contract. Then the world got sick. I can’t even meet potential clients for coffee! So, I’m looking at my empty checkbook thinking “How will I pay the bills?” I’m looking at the predictions and thinking “Will there be any work for me anytime soon?” We’re staying isolated, so I’m not overly worried about getting sick. But still, it could happen, right?
I remember my first year of performing improvisation. I can be shy at times (another fear), and until I found my voice and groove, I was somewhat quiet in rehearsals. At the time, you couldn’t get stage time until the director felt you were ready. After I started, it was roughly two months of workshops and rehearsals before I saw the stage. The day of that show, I was working with a lot of players that I looked up to and respected, but I didn’t know them very well. After that show, Rob, a long-time player and incredibly funny, generous man, came up to me. “Joe, I was really worried. I didn’t know if you had it in you. Nice job tonight. Looking forward to playing again soon.”
If it’s one thing I’ve learned from improvisation it’s that busting through our fears is important. Recognizing and naming them is detrimental to defeating them. I don’t know how or where my fears started. I’ve heard that figuring that out is another way to defeat them. I do know that by studying, performing, and coaching for over 20 years, improv has given me tools and the confidence to follow that fear to defeat it at its home.
At one time, I was fearful of giving presentations. Now? Bring it on. I love having an audience.
At one time, I was fearful of singing in public. Now? ...well..I’ll do it. Put it in an improv show? I got this!
At one time, I was fearful of the future and wanted to have a complete plan. Now? I live in the moment and let what will be will be.
I don’t know what the future holds for me, for us. I do know that it’s going to be so bright, we’ll have to wear shades. I do know that whatever it brings, I’ll be prepared because I’m an Improvisor.
Stay strong; stay awesome.