Connecting the Disconnect
I was at the grocery store earlier this week. Doing my best to promote social distancing. I followed the one-way arrows used to help direct traffic, trying not to glare at the rare individual going the “wrong way” while looking for a jar of spaghetti sauce.
And I noticed a few things:
Not many smiles. Even behind the masks, you can tell if someone is smiling. Not many smiles.
A visceral, gut reaction to seeing those not wearing masks versus those wearing masks.
A slight moment of panic or paranoia when someone coughs.
Less eye contact between people, including the cashiers when I was checking out.
I’m just speculating here but I feel this is a result of our current times. Staying isolated is distancing us from those in our household. Video meetings take a different type of energy, and, even though we’re communicating and socializing, I believe there’s something to be said for personal interaction.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for social distancing to help combat the pandemic. While I’m anxious for this to be over and return to some sense of normal, I’m in no hurry to put us in danger. I’ll vote for the side of caution.
Yet, what happens next? How do we get back to that feeling of connection?
I used to be pretty shy. I don’t know where that came from, but even through college, I was uncomfortable entering new situations where I didn’t know anyone. Hiding in the back of classes was how I survived my first two years.
That continued after I graduated and first entered the professional world. I had a challenging time adjusting to my new environment in a corporate office. It was a smaller company with maybe a thousand employees, tops. Here I was, a young kid that felt he didn’t know what he was doing. My first year was miserable: I knew the people in the training department, and …
Even when I started improvising, some of the members in the cast were concerned if I would make it or not. When I started, there was a group of twenty or so going through workshops. I imagine there was a pool going on with the current crew on who was going to make it or not. As time progressed and I started making friends, gaining confidence, and performing more often. And I made it.
It’s hard to look back twenty years ago and imagine that guy that I was becoming the person I am today. I use my improvisation skills all the time. In fact, sometimes, I don’t even realize it. Other times, when that shyness acts up, I put myself into a scene and perform as a character until the shyness goes away. As Amy Cuddy says, “fake until you become it.”
I use my improv skills to connect with everyone around me. As a teacher, a coach, a friend, a father, I work to listen, make connections, make eye contact, communicate non-verbally. I create a safe space filled with trust and support. Life is improv, and we’re going to need some improv to reconnect.
Stay strong; stay awesome.