Empathy: The Great Connector

Brené Brown states “empathy builds connections. Empathy is feeling with people.” It sounds simple enough, yet we seem to struggle to make that connection, to share those feelings. I get it. It’s scary; it’s uncomfortable. If only there were a way to practice empathy, to learn how to make those connections, to become comfortable in the uncomfortable.

In an improv scene, we’re often tasked with playing a character with opposite values, beliefs, or ideals than our own. Or, our characters may be thrown into an experience or setting where we’ve never encountered.

I coach improv teams for the annual high school speech competition. Teams are given a suggestion and then have five minutes to present to the audience and a panel of judges. I had a team of two girls who truly bought into everything improvisation has to offer. Whereas we often assume that all improv is funny or comedic, they allowed themselves to play serious, dramatic scenes. 

One time, their suggestion was “stuck in a dream.” They quickly set the stage: one, Julie,  was lying across five chairs, as if asleep. Ellen entered the scene and begged Julie to come back. Julie, on the other hand, said she had to go. One expressed their love for the other. As the scene progressed, we learned that Julie was, in fact, in a coma; Ellen wanted her to come back while Julie gave her permission to end life support. The scene ended with Julie lying back down and Ellen reached over and slowly turned off the life support. 

You know that feeling in a theater when everyone is on the edge of their seat? And the theater is so still because everyone is engaged with what’s happening? And you’re fighting back a tear or two as you hear sniffles all around you? That’s what the moment was like. From two high schoolers. Performing in a gym. 

The empathy they had, to connect with each other and with an entire audience, was amazing. At the time, I don’t know that either of them had been in such a situation. Yet, here they were, playing it with honesty and dignity. They were able to get there using their improv skills. Skills they still use today as successful individuals. 

As we move through this time and into our next season, I honestly believe we’ll need more patience, understanding, empathy. I can think of no better way to start building those skills than through improvisation. 

How do you find ways to really connect with your team? Your friends? Your family?

Here’s a link to the Brené Brown video on empathy.