You're Doing Your Best

“It’s his last swim meet.”

My brain told me that as I’m taking picture after picture of my oldest launching from the starting block, slicing into the water, and reaching for that next stroke.

All the emotions, and a few tears, welled up. I took a breath and leaned into in, honoring the moment.

I knew it was coming. It’s his senior year, and I knew there will be moments like this, where the emotions are strong and making themselves known. It’s a year of celebration and a year of lasts: the last marching band season. The last swim meet. The last mock trial. And so on.

With all the love and pride, there also comes the doubt and self-criticism. I imagine most dads feel this.

Have I done enough? Is he ready to leave the nest? Did I mention to change the oil every 3,000 – 5,000 miles? Will he be happy? Make the right choices for him? Does he know how to cook on the grill? Will he be compassionate and kind, funny and playful, brave and hopeful?

Here’s the thing: we can easily get bogged down in all the “what ifs” and the weeds around it. Doing so, we get in our own way. The brain starts telling us the stories, and we start listening. The brain, in all its infinite wisdom, likes to focus on the negative, not the positive. Not everything we did right. We’re doing out best.

Like the time we sat with him after a little league game. Another one where he struck out without swinging the bat. Another one where his teammates all encouraged him. The first one with tears after the game.

When you taught him how to drive. When you told him how proud you were when he made the drumline. When you showed him to dream big and chase those dreams. And so much more.

Take a moment today and reflect on where you are. Look at all the good you’ve done to get yourself here and the good you’ve left in the world.

Next time your brain starts questioning you, remind it you’re doing your best. Look at all this evidence.