Yes, Anding ...the Imposter

A friend responded to one of my recent posts where I mentioned taming or reframing the Imposter.

You know, that feeling or little voice in your head? The one that says “who are you to be (fill in the blank)?” Maybe “who are you to give this speech?” “Who are you to be leading this team?” “Who are you to make this decision?”

Sometimes, the Imposter is more of a feeling than actual thoughts. Mine often feels like I’m 23, just graduated from Iowa State, and it’s my first day in a “real job.” That was 30 years ago!

Other times, the Imposter is more of a stomachache or that nervous feeling when I’m preparing for something. Worst of all, the Imposter often says “You’re not good enough…”

The Imposter is tricksy, like Gollum when he’s disguised as Smeagol. You think he’s your friend while he’s leading you smack dab into Shelob’s Web.

My friend Jeff asks “Joe, you mentioned that your Imposter is more of an ally than a foe. That one struck me as a little odd… I’ve always tried to silence mine. How do you make your Imposter an ally?”

In my mind, I put the Imposter into an improv scene and “Yes, And…” it to be my ally rather than a foe. In what I call “the Improv Moment,” I change how I respond to the Imposter:

Imposter: Who are you to be leading this team?

Joe: Yes, who am I, and I’m Joe! Everything I’ve done has prepared me for this moment. Thanks for reminding me.

I: You’re only 23!

J: Yes, I’m only 23 and I’ve lived a full life of experiences and those are unique to me and bring a unique perspective. Thanks for reminding me what I bring to the table.

I: You’re not good enough.

J: Yes, I’m not good enough, and I’m going to get better step by step. Thanks for reminding me I can continue to learn and improve.

So, next time you feel the Imposter acting like a foe, treat him like a scene partner and accept the offers to build on! Or, like Gollum and let him fall into the Cracks of Doom!

Want to learn more about the Yes, And…Method so you can start living a Yes, And… Life while surrounded by “yeah, but” people? Schedule a free coaching call today!