The Decision to Choose Is a Choice

Recently, I was faced with having to make a decision. Not if I wanted fries with the burger. Not chocolate or pistachio. Not whether to mow the lawn or wait just one more day.

The challenge is in choosing to make the decision itself.

It was one of those major, important life decisions. It boiled down to Job A or Job B?

As I was pondering it, I realized making the decision, in itself, is part of the challenge. I knew whichever way I choose, I would have to say “No” to someone.

That’s when the People Pleaser in me took over. I worry when I have to say “No” that the person on the other end, receiving the “No,” won’t like me or will be disappointed or worse.

It’s a wicked game we play with ourselves. That desire to please everyone, to avoid saying “No,” puts us in a state of weighing all the options, going back and forth, for days, weeks, or even longer.  

I’m reminded of a time when I thought I was interested in a different position where I was teaching. I spent months doing research, weighing options, losing sleep. Once I made a firm decision and said “No thank you,” I felt more relaxed, confident, and assured. I knew I had made the right decision.

Saying “No” is hard; it’s challenging. Don’t let the People Pleaser get in your way. Know that whatever decision you make will be the right one. Then, gracefully, say “No” to the other one.