Keep Defining Yourself
I had a great conversation with a fellow coach earlier today. Let’s call her Jaimie. In what I’m beginning to see as a pattern, our lives had actually crossed randomly before we knew each other as coaches and colleagues:
One of the many hats I gladly wear is “Improv Coach” for a local high school. In addition to directing the annual Improv Show, I also coach the Group Improv teams for the Speech Contest. (Quick aside: the Iowa High School Speech Association, IHSSA, hosts an annual contest, leading up to All State recognition. Group Improvisation is one of many categories, including One Act Play, Reader’s Theater, Musical Theater, and Short Film, to name a few. Learn more here.) Jamie’s daughter, Selina, has been involved in drama, and while she never studied improv, two of her close friends have. So, she knows me by association.
Last week, a number of local coaches had an outing together at Full Circle Creative Coaching. The event included open, honest, vulnerable conversation and horses! Jamie and Selina participated in the event as well.
So, that’s the backstory.
Back to today, Jamie and I met to chat, support each other, and bounce ideas around. Sometimes, entrepreneurship can be a lonely quest. It’s nice to have someone to talk with.
Jamie begins with “Joe, I have to share this with you first, before we get into the meat.”
Oh, okay, I’m curious now.
“We had a great time at the horses the other day. As we were talking, Selina mentioned how happy you look. Relaxed, confident. Just so much more present and .. well, happy.”
I took that in and took it to heart. It meant a lot to me. Here’s a young woman, just a few years into college, seeing me for … well, me. I am honored that not only did she see that but also she felt comfortable enough to express that.
I’m trying now to look back to the past when we may have crossed paths. And I’m trying to imagine the “not-so-happy,” “not-as-courageous” Joe that she saw then compared to now. I don’t know if I recall that guy or what he looked like or what vibes he was sending.
It did make me think about how I may have been showing up. Maybe it was a time I was struggling with my career or other issues somewhere, somehow. Or maybe it was just the winter funk (and not the good kind of funk; Iowa winters, at times, can be brutal). Then, I started thinking about what’s transpired over the past two years:
I took a leap of faith to build my own business.
I invested in myself by hiring a success coach.
I got involved in a coaching mastermind.
I took a Coursera course based on Yale’s The Science of Well Being. (Wonderful, I highly recommend following Dr. Laurie Santos!)
I participated in a lot of on-line improv workshops, both as participator and player!
I’m meeting a lot of new and interesting people, locally and nationally.
I may not have recognized that I was down or unhappy or whatever you want to call it. Or, maybe that had become my baseline, my norm. I can say, for certain, that while the past two years have been challenging, I have come out for the better. I do feel happier. I do feel present, confident, secure. My business is growing, and it has a lot of positive momentum.
I guess what I’m getting at is, take time to reflect on You. Take time to invest in yourself. Maybe look into hiring a coach or taking an improv workshop or doing something outside of your comfort zone. Or even something in your comfort zone you haven’t done recently. You may be surprised by the outcome. Trust me, people will notice!
And one more thing - spread that love. When you see a positive change in someone else, let them know. It’s empowering.
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