Give Yourself Permission

“Give yourself permission to suck at something new.”

I wish I had reminded myself this before I walked through the doors.

At the end of the show choir season, the parents get together to perform a version of the show for the students. It’s a condensed version of the show they dedicated themselves to for almost five months! In the short span of a week, we pull together a show that involves singing AND dancing for the students to enjoy. Neither of which I’m good at!

I went to my first rehearsal last night, and I was a wreck! Improv? I can do that! Singing and dancing and rhythm…together? Yikes! To make matters worse, I missed the first rehearsal and didn’t know what was going on!

We started singing and dancing, and my Perfectionist teamed up with my Imposter. I felt it in my stomach, shoulders, and head. They expressed themselves through frustration. “I wasn’t here last time,” I wanted to shout. “I don’t have a lyric sheet.” “Wait, where should I stand? You want me to do what?”

Then it became worse when the dance move started off on the right foot, but I started on the left and quickly tried to catch up. I was already behind, out of time, and uncomfortable admitting that. I had a choice to try singing or dancing but not both at the same time!

 As my frustration grew, my engagement shrunk. “Be cool,” I told myself. “You’ll get it.” I took a deep, calming breath. And then another. At the end of rehearsal, I knew I had a choice – I could make excuses and not come back or change my attitude while being prepared the next time for the Perfectionist and Imposter to show up, knowing they just want me to do my best, even though this was something new for me.

So, I’m going to suck at something new. I’m going to take a big risk and be willing to fail. I’m choosing to attack it with a fun and positive attitude, recognizing that I’m outside my comfort zone. I can’t wait for tonight’s rehearsal!