You Don't Have To Go It Alone

“Sometimes, you can’t make it on your own.” 
-U2

There must be something in the water. I’ve seen a number of posts or articles lately about asking for help. It even came up as a point of discussion in one of my networking video calls. 

I’ve worked hard to learn it’s okay to ask for help. I think that’s one of the things that gets in the way. We’re uncomfortable asking for help. 

Why is that?

As an adult and a male, I think it comes down to the perception created by our influences, such as movies, books, or songs. The big hero man, the one we all aspire to, doesn’t need to ask for help. He’s got it all together. He’s unflappable. He’s crawling through the ductwork of Nakatomi plaza, taking out the terrorists one by one all while looking cool and dropping dry-humor quips. Or he’s the charming guy sending just the right email and then showing up at the top of the Empire State Building, just as the guard is ushering our “cute meet” to the elevator. 

He goes alone and gets it down and when the credits roll, he’s “won.” 

We never see those moments of doubt. We never see him asking for advice or feedback or support. We never see him ask for help.

And that’s unfortunate. We learn the wrong message. We think we have all the answers, when, in fact, we know that we don’t. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone else know that!

I wish I had known that in the past. Looking back at my storied career in a number of different industries, I recognize now that there were times I should have asked for help. I guess I was scared to look weak or dumb or ineffective. Here I am, getting paid decent money to do a job, and I have to ask for help? Why is this company paying me? Which then plays into the fear that if I’m asking for help, maybe they’ll replace me. 

As I’m building this business, I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help. I can’t speak for everyone, and I know I love helping others. Most of us do enjoy helping others; we just don’t know to offer if we’re not asked. 

So, learn what I’ve learned: it’s okay to ask for help.There’s no shame in that. On the other hand, if you’re a leader, work to build a culture and safe space where no one on your team is afraid to ask for help. 

“Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don’t have to go it alone.”
-U2

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